In the paragraph beginning "In the Semi-Annual servicing channel, feature updates are...", the word "modal" should read "model," the phrase "you choose" should read "you chose" and the phrase "it goes into" should read "it went into."
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I could be wrong, but I read the sentence as if it is talking about a current scenario and not something from the past. Therefore, I suggest the following phrasing:
Once the latest release has gone through pilot deployment and testing, you will be able to choose the timing at which it goes into broad deployment.
Another typo :
This edition of Windows doesn’t include a number of applications, such as Microsoft Edge, .... and Clock. These apps are not supported in Windows 10 Enterprise LTSB edition, even of you install by using sideloading.
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Another typo :
This edition of Windows doesn’t include a number of applications, such as Microsoft Edge, .... and Clock. These apps are not supported in Windows 10 Enterprise LTSB edition, even of you install by using sideloading.